HopeHelplessness
by anonymouth
Summary: Hermione has a restless night and voices her fears to her professor, who later muses. A short one-shot from the night before Harry's Ministry trial OoP. Terrible at titles!


**Set during OoP, just before Harry goes to trial. Short idea that just popped up as I was reading the book. I daresay it could be more, but...well...it's not!**

**Keep forgetting to say that I don't own anything (well, except a copy of the books, and if she hadn't written them in the first place, I wouldn't be writing this, so technically, they asked for it!)

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Hermione sat in the kitchen of Number 12, Grimmauld Place. She hadn't glanced at the clock for a while, but the last time she had, it had been past two am. She sighed softly and swirled her now stone cold tea, the temperature not helped by the vast amount of fire whiskey she had shakily deposited into it two hours previously. She knew if Mrs Weasley caught her, there would be riots, and besides that, she didn't particularly like the flavour added to her tea by the alcohol, but under the circumstances, she thought that no one would notice the amount missing come morning.

She took a sip and grimaced, deciding that though it seemed to be a very adult thing to do, she was much more partial to a mug of non-soused brew.

Hearing a set of approaching footsteps, she placed her mug back down, and prepared to make a swift exit under cover of the almost suffocating darkness in the kitchen. She let her eyes adjust when the person quietly opened the door and slipped in, letting in a fraction of light form the moonlit hallway, and was surprised to see Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts' Transfiguration professor, slip into the room. She was even more surprised when the woman stopped her movements and seemed to slump against the kitchen worktop, back to the table, leaning heavily on her bunched hands. Hermione had been about to slip out, sure she would be unnoticed, when something stopped her.

"Professor," she whispered softly, almost surprised at hearing the word come out of her own mouth. Startled, Minerva spun around, her eyes softening slightly but her stance remaining rigid and anxious when she laid eyes on Hermione.

"Miss Granger, you gave me quite the fright." she smiled softly, a contrast to the customary steeliness of her voice.

"My apologies. I thought I would just slip out quietly if anyone came in."

Minerva turned again, and poured herself a small amount of whiskey into a tumbler she summoned.

"And I daresay leaving Fred or George to face the wrath of Molly come morning when she inspects the alcohol cabinet." Minerva said, glancing between Hermione's mug and Hermione. Hermione had the grace to blush.

"It's not even that nice." she said, and mentally kicked herself. Minerva just smiled as she sipped.

"No...no it's not. It's just as one grows, it becomes customary to do things one does not enjoy, and apparently the consumption of alcohol, especially in times of stress, is one of those things that people just grow into. Of course, those that don't add it to a hot beverage and label it 'medicinal'." Minerva answered with a twinkle in her eye. Hermione grinned, before Minerva's face became serious once more.

"Just don't make it a habit, and for Merlin's sake don't let Molly or Madam Pomfrey find out." Hermione nodded, acknowledging the serious concern underneath the humour.

They were silent for a while, both contemplating their mostly untouched drinks and each other. When Hermione finally met her professor's eyes, she sighed and smiled softly at the inquisitively raised eyebrow.

"What if Harry doesn't come back?" Hermione whispered. It was a thought that had plagued her for endless nights; one that she had never spoken aloud, and now that she had, it seemed that the very foundations of the house were feeding off her fear.

Minerva sighed softly. She knew that great care had been taken by some household members to try to shield the younger ones from the goings on; something she herself had argued against, along with Sirius.

"I would venture to bet that Mr. Potter will return, Miss Granger."

Hermione snorted mildly.

"No offense, Professor, but with Professor Dumbledore involved, I took that for granted. What I meant was...what I mean is...the manner of his return."

Minerva didn't answer straight away, sensing that there was more. With Hermione, there was always more.

"I know there have been countless meetings that we are not privy to; things that even Harry doesn't know about his own life; something that I know frustrates me, never mind him. But...well, it's obvious, isn't it, that Harry needs to be at Hogwarts. He won't be safe anywhere else; from himself as well as from others. I know that everyone is working to keep him safe, but there's more. What it is I don't know, and I don't expect you or anyone to tell me. But he...he just needs to be at Hogwarts, and that's all I can figure out at this point, and it not only frustrates me, it frightens me."

Minerva sighed softly and placed her tumbler down.

"I wish I could tell you more, Hermione, but I know you understand that I cannot. But believe me when I say there are things at work that even I do not understand. I know that that information probably doesn't offer much comfort; but I think it is testament to the faith that we have in Professor Dumbledore's wisdom. And Amelia Bones is a fair woman. She is not under the influence of any opposition, and so Harry's trial will be a fair one. He will be at Hogwarts this year, Hermione."

Hermione let the information sink in, searching her professor's eyes before smiling softly. The woman wouldn't flippantly say such a thing, she knew, although her omittance of the word 'safe' at Hogwarts hadn't gone unnoticed.

She got to her feet and emptied her mug, before she came to stand in front of Minerva. Gently, she lifted her hands and adjusted the collar of Minerva's shirt around her scarf, before tucking her scarf neatly into her coat and doing up the zip.

"Thank you," she whispered softly, not letting go of the lapels of Minerva's very muggle coat. She leant in closer, her lips almost brushing Minerva's cheek.

"And I know you can't tell me, Professor, but I know you are on your way somewhere, again." she lightly tugged Minerva's coat, which brought her lips a breath away from Minerva's earlobe.

"Please be careful, for even though you are of vital importance to the order, you too are special to me." she planted a soft kiss and pulled back, blushing at the look of surprise and tenderness on Minerva's face.

Minerva cleared her throat and mentally shook herself.

"I will see you at school...Miss Granger." she answered gruffly.

She made sure Hermione had climbed the stairs before heading to the front door, her mind already focusing on the task ahead of her, but her heart still residing in the House of Black, with the band of brave teenagers.

She would be careful, and she would do her utmost to keep them safe, like everyone else. But her heart ached at the uncertainty of the future; at the uncertainty of a fifteen year old girl over whether the coming year would hold hope, or death; not for herself, but for those she held dear. With a nod of finality that few would ever argue with, she resolved that despite what the Headmaster thought, there was no need for the girl to face the coming year with a sense of helplessness, too. She would have a word with Sirius and Arthur come morning. Teenagers they may be, but you couldn't in one breath place the hope of the wizarding world on their shoulders whilst with the other playing down their roles to their faces. Especially not when one Hermione Granger seemingly already knew. She allowed herself one last, fond smile, before grimly surveying the path ahead.

She would be careful; to keep them safe; for as long as she possibly could.


End file.
